An owl atop a branch hooted into the night. A young girl stared from the stars to the owl and waved.
To her alarm the owl spoke. “Tell me your age and I’ll part with advice.”
Without hesitation, the little girl said, “Six.”
“Two eyes you see, too wise you be, if you are not nice to your friends they will flee.”
The owl swooped down and scratched the little girl’s head.
As it flew away, it said, “Also, Santa isn’t real.”
–Yes, you guessed it, all owls are assholes.–